Hello and welcome back to our regular morning look at private fellowships, public groceries and the grey-headed seat in between.

Today we’re digging into SoftBank’s latest earnings moves. Not only do they contain a property of informs and other useful information, but some of them are gosh-darn-freaking amusing. We all deserve a bit of levity after the last few months.

The visual ingredients we mention below come from SoftBank’s reporting of its own results from its fiscal year ending March 31, 2020. Much of the deck is made up of financial reporting counters and other chips of stuff you don’t want to read. We’ve gash all that out and left the recreation parts.

Before we dive in, please note that we are largely giggling at some slip layout picks and exclusively rather at the research results themselves. We are certainly not making fun of people who’ve been impacted by layoffs and other such things that these slides’ ensues encompass.

But we are going to have some fun with how SoftBank describes how it goal all countries of the world, because how can we not? Let’s begin.

Data, slides

TechCrunch contains a number of kinfolks parsing SoftBank’s deck this morning, looking to do serious slog. That’s not our goal. Sure, this berth will tell you things like the fact that there are 88 fellowships in the Vision Fund portfolio, and that when it comes to unrealized amplifications and losings, the portfolio has witnessed $13.4 billion in advantages and $14.2 billion in loss. $4.9 billion of incomes have been realized, mind you, while just $200 million of damages have had the same honor.

And this announce will tell you that the” net coalesced[ internal charge of return] for SoftBank Vision Fund investors is -1 %.”

Hell, “youre supposed to” too want to know that Uber was detailed as Vision Fund’s worst-performing public busines, engendering a $1.46 billion loss for the group. In contrast, Guardant Health is good for a $1.67 billion gain, while 2019 IPO Slack has been good for $ 605 million in earnings. Those were the two best fellowships in the Vision Fund’s public portfolio.

But what you really want is the good stuff. So, shared by slide number, here you go 😛 TAGEND Slide 11:

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