Well, At Least The Late Nighters Showed Up For The Rally

Clip of Trump before his Tulsa rally: We’ve never had an empty seat. And we certainly won’t in Oklahoma. Stephen Colbert: He’s right. There wasn’t ‘an’ empty seat–there were millions of them. The stadium Trump spoke in can hold more than 19,000 parties, but merely 6,200 people attended. That’s one-third capacity. Y’know, I don’t want to be a glass-half-empty kinda guy, but half-empty would be a huge improvement. –Stephen Colbert

“Aww, inadequate Trump. For somebody who was born into capital and never suffered a single consequence for his actions, this dude simply cannot catch a break.” –Trevor Noah

Continued…

You Are Now Below The Fold. Collect $200.

Clip of Trump at his Tulsa rally: Here’s the bad part. When you do[ Covid] testing to that extent, you’re going to find more people, you’re going to find more events. So I told us to my beings: sluggish the testing down, satisfy! Jimmy Fallon: Hey, if Trump wants fewer people presenting up for experiments, he should just hampered his next rally at a testing site. –The Tonight Show

“This is what we want the electoral planned to look like in November.” –Samantha Bee

“A megachurch in Phoenix is facing skepticism ahead of Trump’s visit after a claim to have installed a ventilation system that ‘kills 99.9 percent of Covid molecules in ten minutes.’ Which sounds crazy, but it’s still “the worlds largest” plausible thing that’s ever been said in a megachurch.” –Seth Meyers

“I precisely wanna say to all those[ MAGA] parties: the next time you get an operation, you just say to the doctor,’ You make that liberal bullshit somewhere else. You are now in now with no crossing, you don’t wash those mitts, and you persist them in my open weave, because I am an American.” –Jon Stewart, on the Trump cult’s refusal to wear masks, on The Late Show

“If you’re missing the excitement of shaking a good friend’s hand, I’ve found that a 4-day-old mango has a jolly similar feel.” –Conan O’Brien

And now, our feature presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 26, 2020

Note: Don’t forget that you can follow me on Twitter at–hang on, I gotta go glance it up– @BillinPortland . You’ll pinpoint news, sports, weather, and tons of cheerfulnes. In other people’s feeds. But please follow me anyway.

By the Numbers 😛 TAGEND

5 days, eh.

Days ’til Canada Day: 5

Minimum number of lawsuits contending “unchecked” and “indiscriminate” police violence was used against objectors in performances held to the death of George Floyd: 40

Biden-Trump matchup crowds among cross-file Wisconsin voters polled by Marquette Law School( last month it was 46 -4 3 ): 49% -4 1%

Cal Cunningham( D) vs. Sen. Thom Tillis( R) matchup lists in the North Carolina senate race, per Public Policy Polling: 44% -4 0%

Increase in personal-use fireworks auctions over last year, according to CBS News: 200%

Year John Flanagan’s portrait of George Washington started appearing on the “heads” side of the fourth: 1932

Year during which squirrels chewed through power line and caused the stall of millions of NASDAQ trades: 1994

Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend schemes …

CHEERS to playing it safe. Well, it’s official, folks. We now have another stark example of the difference between the Republican and Democratic defendants. The Republican are going ahead with their RNC convention, where they’ll cavort and canoodle with the coronavirus under a hermetically-sealed dome in Jacksonville, been assured that several of them won’t endure long enough to vote in November’s election. Meanwhile, word came down Wednesday that the DNC is planning to keep its delegates–oh, what’s that silly statement ?– alive :

Former Vice President Joe Biden will accept the Democratic presidential nomination at a nearly all-virtual convention in Milwaukee in August, the Democratic National Committee said Wednesday. Delegate were told to stay home because of health concerns.

From dwelling this year. But our stomaches will be in Milwaukee.

“After consulting with public health officials about the COVID-1 9 pandemic, meeting organizers are announcing today that they have determined state delegations should not plan to travel to Milwaukee and should plan to conduct their official meeting business remotely, ” the DNC said in a statement.

Further proof that Republicans are the pro-life party…right up until the moment you’re born.

JEERS to prolonging the expectation.[ Sigh] Fourteen outstanding opinions–fourteen !– to participate in the Supreme Court’s pocket as the last cereals of beach tumble from their hourglass, and yesterday they slipped exactly one( a badly-decided one, led by ghoul Alito) before going back to their barcaloungers and cheesy poofs 😛 TAGEND

That’s the only opinion today, which means we will likely have to wait until at least next week for sentiments in the blockbuster suits on abortion claims& arrangement of the CFPB. There are now 13 beliefs outstandingAC/ AAalmost guaranteeing we go into July for the 1st day since 1996.

AC/ AA SCOTUSblog (@ SCOTUSblog) June 25, 2020

I knew this would happen when the justices went into lockdown and started binge-watching Judge Judy.

CHEERS to the other American revolution. On Sunday’s date in 1969, a ragtag gaggle of patrons at a sleazy Greenwich Village gay bar run by the mafia–the Stonewall Inn , now a National Monument–decided they’d had enough police harassment for one lifetime. So they got mad as hell–especially the draw queens who had no more fucks to give–tipped over a police car, lunged some stones and rendered brand-new life to the LGBT titles push. As the representative police auditor said: “For those of us in[ the] world morals[ split ], things were completely changed…Suddenly “theyre not” subservient anymore.”

Iconic photo taken during the course of its 1969 Stonewall riotings. If you’re gonna have a revolution, you could do worse than to have it at a sit where punishment rotgut is served.

What a difference half a century procreates. A gargantuan majority of Americans now hug their LGBT family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. LGBTers can act openly in the military.( Trump’s ban on new transgender enlistees will be overturned the second largest he leaves power .) The vast majority of businesses support LGBT employees and many of them patron LGBT advocacy radicals. When right-wingers overtake anti-LGBT principles, there’s ever severe blowback. And as of this month, thanks to the wisdom of the United states supreme court and the tenacity of the plaintiffs who indicated their cases before it, employment discrimination is now verboten in every state.

And best of all, those aging objectors in New York who got mad as hell that hot June night and refused to take it anymore are now celebrating five years of having the legal right to take their fights where straight Americans have waged them since 1776: the institution of marriage.

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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AC/ AA Oliver Willis (@ owillis) June 25, 2020

END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

CHEERS to gastronomical salutations. On June 26, 1963, President Kennedy handed a pronunciation in then-West Berlin where he said, famously, “Ich bin ein Berliner! ” Over its first year many have erroneously said that he was calling himself a jelly doughnut, but that is not true–he was referring to himself as a citizen of Berlin. Unfortunately, things later turned touchy when, after his speech, he said he was so hungry he had been able to dine half a dozen Frankfurters and transmit inhabitants of that municipal fleeing to their cellars.

JEERS to one pissed off planet. Murder hornets. Locusts. A assassin virus pandemic. Earthquakes. Wildfires. Hurricanes. Meth-addicted alligators. Republicans. And now, ladies and gentlemen, courtesy of Planet Earth, satisfy put your hands together for the latest mindless calamity from Planet Earth, coming to the southern United Country this weekend: Mega Sahara Dust Storm …

The immense junk cloud–which some experts say could be the biggest and most intense Saharan plume in 50 years–could exacerbate health problems, including asthma and other respiratory illnesses, and make visibility difficult on the ground.

ISS photo by Col. Doug Hurley showing the dust storm over the central Atlantic. I like to think he was humming the theme from’ Lawrence of Arabia’ as he snarled it.

“Dust specks are what we call particulate matter, and we know that breathing in fine particles of anything is not good for the respiratory tract–especially people who are sensitive to poor air quality, ” said Thomas Gill, a professor of geological disciplines at the University of Texas at El Paso.

If you’re looking to make a quick killing in the stock market, C& J recommends moving all your fund into Acme Rent–ACamel.

CHEERS to home vegetation. As far as Tv vanishes, Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow will be compete tonight with the virtual Daytime Emmy Awards (8 pm on CBS ). Then at 10 Bill Maher talks with John Bolton, James Carville, Krista Swisher and The Robin Hood Foundation’s Wes Moore on HBO’s Real Time.

Sunday night

New home video freeings include season 23 (!!!) of South Park, Will Farrell’s Eurovision on Netflix, and a cluster of other substance I haven’t heard of but you can check’ em out here. Live plays is( are ?) back with LPGA and PGA action, horsey racing, and NASCAR episodes.( As “theyre saying”, check your neighbourhood itemizes .) Tomorrow night at 8 NBC/ MSNBC will air Global Goal: Unite for Our Future, an all-star Covid-1 9-related episode hosted by Dwayne Johnson with “chart-topping performers and world leaders”( Merkel, Macron, et al ., but not Trump, of course ). On 60 Minutes: how the FDA f* cked up Covid antibody exams. Then Sunday night at 8( CBS) the virtual BET Awards will be hosted by Amanda Seales, with honours to Little Richard and Kobe Bryant, and performances by Jennifer Hudson and Lil Wayne among others. And John Oliver situates us all to bed( but not to sleep) Sunday night at 11 with a new copy of HBO’s Last Week Tonight.

Now here’s your Sunday morning lineup 😛 TAGEND

This Week: TBA

Meet the Press: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo( D-NY ); Hawky John Bolton hawks his hawky bible; Worthless DHS Secretary Alex Azar gaslights America on the covid crisis as Chuck Todd rubs his bunions.

On all the networks: James Buchanan’s phantom celebrates no longer being the worst president in history.

CNN’s State of the Union: Hawky John Bolton hawks his hawky notebook. Also: Sen. Tim Scott( R-SC ).

Face the Nation: Gaslighters wallow! Vice President Mike Pence assures America that the coronavirus is gone, their own economies is booming, and Trump is beating Biden by 99.9 places in the polls.

Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Onetime CDC director Tom Frieden.

Happy viewing!

Ten years ago in C& J: June 26, 2010

CHEERS to evading a bullet. Dick Cheney sent himself to the hospital Friday night after complaining of pangs of conscience. Using a Black and Decker cordless screwdriver, physicians removed his chest sheet and blew in some charcoal-grey dirt to re-blacken his soul. They said he could check out Saturday but he opted to stay an extra day so he could spend some quality duration short-sheeting the bottoms in ICU. In his absence, daughter Liz made over gibing offices.( As normal, a seamless modulation .)

And time one more…

The gamble is fun for the entire family. Well, maybe not for the one who gets the black spot, but other than that ….

CHEERS to the growing season. A rapid remember that tomorrow morning, June 27 th, at 10 am, everybody–you included–needs to meet at the city square( between the local post office and the bank) for the annual lottery .

Please get there swiftly( I’m looking at you, Tessie Hutchinson, the breakfast dishes can wait) so we can start picking the ballots out of the hat and calculate who has the pitch-black discern. Once the action starts, follow the guidelines set by the safety department: hoist only those rocks that won’t cause back stres or wrist harm.( “If it’s too big for thee, leave it be.”) Let’s try to finish up by midday so we can all go home and enjoy a delightful midday supper, shall we? Likewise: tomorrow is the day to frame a new “Lottery In June, Corn Be Heavy Soon” bumper sticker on your auto, per municipality guide. And don’t forget sunscreen–those UV rays can kill ya.

Have a great weekend. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and gibing about today?

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