Pandemics used to be something we read about in books and then went back to our venti Frappuccino and half-assed handwashing. Those days are over Karen. Coronavirus is the new manager and she didn’t come to play. We are facing a world public health crisis and we need to change our action NOW. While the bulletin is more unsettling by the hour, let’s consider a few small life spoofs to focus on instead of freaking out.
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Chill out on the panic shopping
Have your children ever ingested garbanzo beans? Um, mine won’t even snack a fresh child carrot, so making dwelling 900 cans of strange legumes is probably not realistic. Stick to your carnival share Stephanie, and at least throw a Trader Joe’s goose chili( actually edible) into your basket instead of 75 wheels of toilet tissue.
Think of the grandma who has gone to seven supermarkets and is actually out of toilet paper. She’s risking getting sick precisely leaving her dwelling and doesn’t need to stand in line behind you and your full rack of skipjack tuna. Having a month supply of menu for family and working pets is recommended, really don’t go overboard. Also don’t forget to order drugs in advance, have medical middle telephone number handy and check on prone kinfolks in your network. All this is better than more bathroom tissue. Hello, take a lesson from the Walking Dead. No zombie slayer ever gambled life and limb for 3-ply Charmin.
Get with the Bow Now
A woman at a school event extended her entrust to respond me the other day and I froze. I actually didn’t want to shake, but it felt inconsiderate not to. Guess what? RUDE IS THE NEW BLACK! And the fore is the new space to slow the spread of deadly infection. Elbow bump, toe tap, heck even do a hip bump if you are feeling groovy merely don’t touch anyone’s actual surface. OK lady at school? Get ready to bow if I ever leave the house again and run into you. For now, I’m carries penalty with social distancing so watch me submit over FaceTime.
Make Handwashing a Dance Party
My boys are the most half-assed handwashers ever. I have to constantly send them back to repeat their pathetic handwashing. The only thing that had contributed to is …. wait for it- The Backstreet Boys. Yes, I want it That Way is quite possibly the best song to prolong handwashing for everyone in your room. Likewise, if you are like me and a sucker for retro chants check out these three other appeals with twenty second choruses to keep your suds starting long enough to wash away any shred of Coronavirus 😛 TAGEND
Africa, Toto- I necessitate if you are going to be stuck at home with children, you better be teaching them the continents the right way. Hit Me Baby One More Time, Brittany Spears- Dare you to try play this and not sing or dance. Raspberry Beret, Prince- Paw up for wreaking from home and wearing cozy breathes, that look like the style you find in a secondhand place. Just cover your camera before you go on the VC call with task!
Choose Fact over Panic
Let’s not make this softly. K? Think of the elderly at risk and my best friend our own age who we are not able even know have asthma, or accommodation stomaches or lungs. Our actions difficulty right now more than ever. So let’s all listen to the experts, make precautions gravely and for divinity sakes Karen have fun brewing your homemade handwriting sanitizer( P.S soap toils better) but don’t be a racist. PEACE OUT and remain safe Scary Mommies!
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