People going through a divorce do stupid things. It’s not a cut down and I’m not trying to be unkind, it’s just actuality. Trust me, when I was newly separated, I did more stupid things than anyone else I know.
Why the stupid things? Because going through a divorce is extremely difficult. It’s an psychological, stressful, distressing and unbelievably frightening time, and all those feelings modifies compel beings to temporarily become different people.
An otherwise confident, stable person can temporarily turn into an insecure, feeling mess who is always unsure of him or herself and who can’t seem to do anything right. Because of the dangers, the instability and the lack of self-worth, people are able to procreate bad choices. It represents an opportunity of weakness and extreme vulnerability.
I recently listened the history of a divorced woman who told me that when she was separated last year, she had a few glasses of wine one darknes and left a long voice message on her soon-to-be ex’s voice mail, consuming several four character words and spewing out threats.
Her ex’s attorney toy the voicemail in law and it was extremely damaging. In the end, her ex got full incarceration of their own children. Ugh. That reach me sick to hear. Why? Because I know this woman personally and she didn’t deserve that. This situation could happen to anyone, which is why people going through a divorce genuinely have to be careful. I detest to say it, but when you’re going through a divorce, you are sort of on trial. You’re being judged, you have to walk on eggshells. It can feel like you are being evaluated as a parent and you have to prove yourself. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.
When people are going through a divorce, they sometimes behave a little crazy. I know I did. One night earlier today, I had a couple glasses of wine-colored( without eating anything) and drove home. I got drawn over( thank God I didn’t get a DUI ). Since then, I have never had more than one suck if I know I’m driving.
Other crazy/ stupid things I did while going through a divorce were: I got into a toxic relationship with a chap who analyse me like idiocy, I binge ate, I drank a lot and announced my girlfriends crying, and I cease a high-paying job. I could go on and on.
People going through a divorce do things that are so out of character because they actually don’t know who they are temporarily. They’ve lost a sense of themselves. They are in chaos and unchartered subject. They don’t know how to be themselves because the whole world as they know it has changed. It’s like you’re just trying to figure out what you’re supposed to do now, AND you’re trying to soothe the immense pain you are feeling every minute of every day, so whatever you feel you have to do at that moment, you do it.
Here’s the good news. That state of mind doesn’t last very long. For me, it only lasted a few months. I then realized if I continued on this path that I would spoil my life and my babies’ beings .
Here are some STUPID things you shouldn’t do if you are going through a divorce( or EVER !)
1. Leave a voicemail theme for ANYONE after you’ve been drinking or ANYTIME,( even if you are sober) that might decorate you in an unflattering light.
2. Send an email or verse that you wouldn’t crave a adjudicator or your ex’s advocate to see.
3. Drink and Drive.
4. Talk poorly about your ex in front of your kids.
5. Talk severely about your ex to beings in your community.
6. Send an email or verse to your ex really quickly when you are upset or right after you get bad news from your advocate about the case.
7. Call your attorney for every little detail or to complain or volcano. That’s what a healer or Divorced Girl Smiling is for!
8. Change your standards when it comes to dating and how husbands/ dames treat you.
9. Take pharmaceuticals or booze overly to try to numb your distres or tendernes. There are so many other wonderful options for that, including working out, yoga, faith, and doing things you love.
10. Threaten your ex.
11. Tear up aged photos or throw away marriage relics. You’ll dejection it later.
12. Do anything out of spite or time to induce your ex anguish or to anger him/ her.
I don’t think I have to tell anyone reading this how difficult going through a divorce really is. It’s incredibly painful, and still, 14 year later, when I look back on that time in my life, I going to be able vividly recall that raw pain.
Here’s the good news. You are in the thick of things, and although women might seem like things are never going to change, I promise they are able to! You merely have to try to be patient, and fix HEALTHY alternatives when you are feeling like you need something. For sample, during a terribly very stressful moment, instead of downing a glass of wine-colored, engage in deep breathing and meditation. Instead of calling your ex and screaming at him or her, go for a jog or write in a journal.
I rightfully think everyone will do some stupid things while going through a divorce. It’s okay and various kinds of inevitable. And, it’s temporary. But the key is not to do anything damaging because there could be real consequences, developing in things you will dejection forever.
Like such articles? Check out, ” 20 Things I Bid I Could Have Told My Newly Separated Self “
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